Hey, I feel you.
Not because I'm getting married soon, but because I have been a bride, and I've (and my hubby) been through all the stress, anxiety, insecurities of planning, researching, meeting and discussing all about our dream wedding like you've all been going through before the pandemic. It's like giving everything, literally everything (time, money, energy, and even involving other people) just for that special day. All to be, or about to be, affected and distorted by the pandemic. No words can describe that hurt and pain of not being able to marry your loved one according to your dream plan, which can only be done once in a lifetime.
To all those who had rescheduled their weddings, or push through with an intimate setup, or both, I salute you. I respect and look up to you so much for being able to overcome the heartbreaking pain and uncertainties and make your decision. To those who are scheduled soon, either in the later 2020 or in 2021, whether you decide to postpone, push, or wait it out and hope for the best, there really is no right answer. Because whatever we decide to do, we all have one common enemy: Uncertainty.
Uncertainty is the arch enemy of any plans. From weddings, to travels, to opening a business, to simple birthdays and celebrations, we are all affected with uncertainty. But it's just exponentially difficult for weddings, because it's not only the couples, but the parents, relatives, friends, those who will be coming from overseas are also affected. It's about everybody cooperating and making time to celebrate love. It's one of the most beautiful events, but also one of the most difficult to plan and execute. That's why a pandemic like this definitely takes a huge toll to all affected couples. So how do we counter this?
All I can provide is guidance. You can agree with me, or disagree. It doesn't matter because like I said, there's no right answer. But I do hope this can somehow help other couples out there who are still confused and anxious to make any decisions about their upcoming wedding, I can only see 3 acceptable approaches to battle with uncertainty:
1. Wait and hope for the best, push through with your original plan, then have a backup plan of intimate setup using your original suppliers.
This to me is the most logical and most applicable for couples who have booked and paid majority of suppliers around late 2020 or year 2021, and prefer to go with the flow without sacrificing anything as much as possible. If we go back to what weddings used to be before your date, then great! But, if our situation is still on the rocks, use your original venue, p/v team, and other paid major suppliers (especially if any refunds are not possible) with just the reduced guests for ceremony and reception. Then maybe just plan the grander celebration in the upcoming years when it's all better, that is if you still want to.
Remember though, that it's not "instantly ok" once the pandemic is over. There is an adjustment period. If all restrictions for gatherings are lifted days before your wedding, do not expect your guests to suddenly flock and attend yours like what you expected in the first place. People would still be hesitant. It would still take a couple of months before we would all be carefree again in attending mass gatherings.
Pros:
Able to use what is spent as wisely as possible
Maintained committed schedules of important people involved that must be present during the wedding
Prevent rescheduling conflicts and date unavailability across all suppliers. It's very challenging to reschedule too late as many other couples might have booked your suppliers for the new date.
Get married to your loved one like what you planned
Hope of still attaining traditional, non-intimate wedding setup
Cons:
Only if the grim situation still persists:
Can be a bit of a waste with reduced guests using giant venues, intricate styling, lavish food, etc. (if you're unable to request for refunds)
Social distancing will be evident in your photos and among your guests as well as wearing of masks, if this bothers you
The festivity will definitely be solemn or chill, due to restricted interactions, but still powerful and special in a way. It depends on how you see it.
Might have to reschedule again, if you find out for yourselves 1-2 months before that you can't accept having intimate setup. But since you reschedule quite late because you wait it out, new dates and supplier availability, as well as your guests, may be the biggest challenge. You might have to reschedule far ahead if you want to maintain everything, or sacrifice and change a few plans.
2. Intimate Now (or on orig date), Grand Later
This is what I believe to be the best anti-uncertainty approach. Unlike the approach above where we still welcome second thoughts and backup plans, this one is 100% sure. Most recommended for couples who are not comfortable waiting, who cannot postpone weddings due to various reasons, and those who seek the possibility of saving a few expenses for an intimate setup. Nothing can be more certain than this. There are guidelines available on getting married now amidst the restrictions, and there's no stopping us to celebrate next time with a grander setup. This can only be effective if you finally decided strongly to have an intimate setup following the restricted guidelines, even if your date is still a couple of months away. Because whether our situation will get better or not, your intimate setup will definitely push through.
Pros:
As mentioned, fail-proof. Intimate marriage removes all uncertainties and anxieties, because whether our situation improves or not, intimate gatherings can still continue. Grander celebrations can come later when mass gatherings are back to what they used to be. Planning that would be a piece of cake.
Save a lot with intimate setups. Small, but really special and powerful. More so if some of your considerate paid suppliers refunded you, if you must cancel them.
Cons:
I totally understand that there's this lingering feeling that it's just not the same as before where you can have both a non-intimate ceremony and reception in a day without restrictions. Even if we can celebrate later. I feel that. I can't put it into proper words, but yes, that feeling is really heartbreaking for most that can't let this go. This is the biggest sacrifice.
Given that it's intimate, everything will be prepared that way as well, your P/V team, photos, styling, food, possibly couture, and even the entire timeline will be geared towards having an intimate celebration. Again, this can only be a con if you're not entirely happy with this.
3. Reschedule Everything Early
For the risk takers, this one's for you. If you just can't let go of that dream, non-intimate wedding, and insist to have it that way it was before, then by all means do reschedule, especially if you, your loved one, and other VIP guests and friends can still accommodate you later on. The only big con? You are betting on the fact that everything will be better by the time of your new date. If that happens, then good for you! If not, be ready to schedule again, and again. Because who knows? Uncertainty, right? I stated this in #1, but I will state it again here just to keep expectations real:
Remember though, that it's not "instantly ok" once the pandemic is over. There is an adjustment period. If all restrictions for gatherings are lifted days before your wedding, do not expect your guests to suddenly flock and attend yours like what you expected in the first place. People would still be hesitant. It would still take a couple of months before we would all be carefree again in attending mass gatherings.
Pros:
Get married exactly the way you wanted, for the couples who scream big NO to intimate setups.
Safety is still important, but people may be more carefree - like before. No distancing, no face masks, etc. Glory to fully revealed faces in photos, and group hugs! Celebrations will be merry.
Because you reschedule early, there's still a high chance to get your new preferred date with all your guests and original suppliers aligned and available.
Cons:
The "What If"s
As stated, it's a gamble. There's the possibility of having to reschedule again. Because for this approach, we did not directly counter uncertainty. We just let it pass. Sounds easy, but you have wasted precious time (months, or even a year or 2) that you are supposed to spend together with your loved one (for those not living together).
It can be stressful. The wait can be torture because everyday you are faced with the question, "Will everything be ok by then?". Make sure you are emotionally strong enough to carry (or not care about) this burden.
On the other hand, you must also not regret. What if everything is indeed ok already by the time of your original date? Well, that's still good right? At least you have a new date, with all your original plans intact, it will just be later. Praying and crossing all our fingers for no new developments or other new pandemics by then.
Choose what you feel the most comfortable, or most applicable. I may not have helped ease your pain and anxieties, but I do hope you will be able to move on. After all, we're all in this together. If you have any other questions, or seeking advice and suggestion, feel free to leave me a message below or click "Contact Me".
After everything, we will all get through this. That's one thing I'm confidently sure of!
My heartfelt congratulations to you by the way!~
Comentários