Not literally, but events WILL survive this pandemic.
My heart goes to all couples, celebrants and suppliers affected by this pandemic. Having planned 3-consecutive major events of my life with everything I got, I could breakdown and faint just by thinking about the "what-ifs" of being affected. Actually, my wedding was slightly affected as it was held last February. I was shocked and stressed about it at first, but it did not took long for me to get over it. It's just no use crying over spilled milk. More details about this when I get there in my wedding planning adventure chapters.
To hopefully help you cope and move forward, I sincerely and strongly believe the first and foremost thing to do is...
1. Acceptance
a. Accept that ever since, we are powerless against nature.
There's just nothing we can do to stop a volcano from erupting, a tsunami or a typhoon from landing, and yes, a pandemic. They're the uncontrollables. So, there's really no use to constantly rant, cry and stress about it. Initial reactions and denial are natural, you have to let all your boiled up emotions out. But after that, save all your strength and energy to move forward and think of "What now?".
b. Go back to the true essence and meaning of your event
We need to go back to the basic definition of what an event is. An event is a happening: a meeting, a celebration, a reunion, to honor a special occasion or memory. That just means even with two to three people around to do it, no matter where and when, it's an event! So even with the ongoing lockdown, quarantine, distancing and many other regulations to ensure safety, we can still celebrate events. It's just going to be more intimate at least until the pandemic ends. By no means, does an intimate event make it any less special.
For birthdays or debuts, a scrumptious meal with your family at your homes is an event and a good enough celebration and giving thanks to have lived another year. You can always have the next years to have a grand celebration, since each more year we get to live should actually deserve a grander celebration than the year before, right?
For weddings, try replacing the word "wedding" with '"marriage". I believe the latter is more meaningful, powerful, and it's THE main reason why we do weddings in the first place. It's the celebration of your love! It doesn't matter what date, place and size of your wedding is, they could never measure up, and should never be the basis of how "special" your marriage is. Like birthdays, if it's amenable, you can still have a grand celebration when this is all over and it should even be more special as you guys are still madly in love! For those who can't postpone their marriage due to various reasons (based overseas, work restrictions, license expiry, difficult for guests, etc.), or you're uncomfortable of the uncertainties of this being over, who says you can't get married now? Remarkably intimate civil weddings or church weddings are still allowed. Click here for more info.
Being able to fully understand and accept the situation removes all stress, anxieties, and clears our minds to think more rationally and clearly preparing ourselves for step 2.
2. Compromise
What about our payments? What if we can no longer postpone or reschedule? What about us suppliers?
There are already a lot of existing posts and articles about this, and I couldn't agree more.
a. For Clients
We all know that once the suppliers' finished goods are in our hands (gowns, gifts, accessories, etc), it's highly unlikely for returns and refunds, particularly for custom or personalized orders. Only alternative is to either use them in your rescheduled celebration or if postponement is not possible, sell them but do not expect so much on inquiries at a time like this.
For services you can only fully receive during your event such as coordination, catering, venues, etc., we first have to understand where your downpayments go. It's wrong to assume they simply set it aside and wait for cancellations to refund them to you. Once you paid them, it goes in their roster of funds to be used in their daily expenses and other purchases and investments, like we do. So, imagine having to suddenly give out refunds to all clients that bailed out? It just doesn't work that way, which is why even before the pandemic, the clause "Downpayments are non-refundable" have long existed in our contracts. Downpayments are part of their survival. The logical thing to do are:
1. Ask first if it's possible for refund, whether full or partial (if you intend to totally cancel for various reasons)
2. Still, try rescheduling, especially for weddings. It may sound like a lot of work, but suppliers will be there to help you. They will be understanding and will not charge extra fees for rescheduling during this difficult time. It's tough to set a date not knowing when exactly this pandemic will end, and if it ended, are things really going back to the way it was before? The safest way is to reschedule it as further to the future as you can. Late 2021 or early 2022 "seem" safe enough. All we can do is pray and hope this will be all over real soon.
3. So you simply can't re-schedule, being based overseas or terrified with when this would exactly be all over and all the uncertainties that come with it. I believe the most comforting option for this is to do it now. We are fully aware of the situation, there are complete guidelines to do so, what else to be afraid of aside from exercising safety and the possibility of cancelling even intimate weddings altogether which is very unlikely? Now is the most sure way to get married without having to worry all about the "What-ifs" and the guestlist and other extra nitty gritty expenses.
3. Again, understanding and acceptance. So we found out we can't get a refund. We can't postpone or reschedule. My grand event becomes intimate. At least we tried negotiating. There's really no use fighting over this, since this is nobody's fault. It's not only our loss, suppliers lose a lot as well. After all, money can be earned again, but broken relationships and friendships are difficult to mend. There's still so many chances to hold grand events in the future.
b. For Suppliers
We all know how our clients feel, amidst the stress of all their efforts to plan their special day are going to change, not being able to get refunds for services they have yet to receive (and might never will if total cancellation) would be the worst. It's like giving away money if not understood. So, they should also be informed that it's not the case and should properly and professionally be explained to them. Ignoring our clients and keeping on pointing to the contract will not help the situation and will tarnish the relationship we have with our clients.
Refund those you can, partial or full or none, it's your call. There's really no right or wrong because each of us are in our own different situations. Waiving extra charges such as rescheduling fees is a no brainer. You would be one hell of a supplier for not considering so! It is exactly during these times that we should be there to support our clients and provide advice on what to do. Kindly provide concrete, applicable advice based on your client's concern, not to encourage them to do otherwise just to continue making money. Not all clients can reschedule or postpone for various reasons. If their situation makes them really impossible to postpone, then suggest them to do it now, even if it means we can no longer serve and take part in the client's special day. For me, this is what it truly means to save events. Saving events is not always equal to postponement, because it can't apply to everyone.
3. Cope
With all of us together in this, supporting ourselves and each other is the best way to overcome this challenge.
For couples and celebrants just starting to plan for your events, take advantage of this time to do more research and finish up your mood boards and pegs, draft your shopping list for things you still need, etc. A lot of suppliers are also offering discounts. As for your guestlist, you might want to downsize especially if yours is next year or so, as everything's still uncertain, as well as adapting to the more-real-than-ever "new normal". Things will definitely be different not only in the events aspects, but as well as businesses, workplaces, lifestyle, etc. It's a domino effect that affects every one of us in several ways.
Same goes for those who are rescheduling. You can either retain all your suppliers, find others that can match your date, or reduce suppliers you no longer find necessary. Reduction of guestlist is recommended. People might no longer want to attend crowded events after this, your guests might still be concerned about safety, etc. Intimate events with 100% sure attendees such as your family and BFFs is the safest way to proceed, and can even make your event even more special.
For suppliers, it's high time to offer intimate and affordable packages because this is going to be the trend for some time. It's important to adapt especially to those who only have this as their main livelihood. People will only be starting to recover their losses after the pandemic lightens, and most will not have that luxury to spend so much on beautification, most especially if it's intimate. A secondary livelihood will greatly help and support us at least temporarily until we all get back on track.
Know that the end for the pandemic does not mean it's already truly over. It would take months of adjustment period, or even years, before we get back to where we are before, IF we will ever get back, because who knows?
4. Hope
Never lose this! We always managed to survive whatever comes our way.
Intimate events have long co-existed with large events, it's just that it's going to be what's IN for the coming years due to a lot of changes after the pandemic. But I sincerely believe we will get right back on track and restore the balance in no time. Not that it's required or that more people is better, but just because humans, most if not all, are naturally sociable species. We love celebrations, parties & merry making, we love seeing our friends, we love get togethers, we love to be there with our loved ones on their special day. This is particularly true to us Filipinos, its in our culture and blood.
For the love of events, may they never die!
Comments